sometimes i just simply forget. i allow the busyness of my day, the distractions in my mind, the problems in my path to get in the way of what truly matters. even in these enchanted woods, my mind forgets to constantly turn my eyes towards the heavens and thank the Creator for these majestic creatures of beauty and timeless stories. may the heavens always sing their song of praise, because my words, my thoughts, and my actions fall short.
im in a reminicse-y sort of mood. heck, when am i not? sometimes it's easier to live in the past than it is to face the present. so often i find my heart wandering to better times and easier days and longer nights. tonight, i felt my heart suddenly overwhelmed with a longing and a pull to be home. i don't mean ohio. i mean in the Crazy Mountains, in the Boulder Valley, in the rickety old cabins of Clydehurst. maybe not even at the place...but i was truly missing what made that place my home -- the people who surrounded me. so, if you're from camp, and you're reading this, know that, though my body is miles away from you, my heart is nearby, for where you are, therealso is my heart and my love. even in the midst of other Christian communities (which, can i just say, i am truly blessed to be able to live, once again, in a community full of mature, seeking Christians? wow. wow. oh wow.) i still long for the one that i was a part of this past summer.
do you know the story behind me going back to Clydehurst for another summer? its truly testimony of God knowing all things and working them accordingly to our best. i was wrestling over what i should do for the summer. do i get an internship & stay at home (with a boy playing into that idea) or should i go back to camp, after what was truly a trying experience the previous summer? i was torn. i knew i needed to get this internship in, but ccr is truly a place like no other. you don't fully understand, even in the most descriptive words and detailed stories, until you experience it for yourself. well, i decided to dedicate my spring break, one spent on a deserted island in the middle of the gulf of Florida, to praying and seeking God's will for this. like most mornings on that island, i woke up early, due to crashing waves, blowing winds, and cold chills. but that morning, was different. i woke up, wide awake, and clear as day, i heard the Lord speak to me. one word. "camp." that was it. that's all He said. me, having the big, opinionted mouth that i do, said, "are you serious, Lord?! after what happened the the last time?" and He again said, "camp." i'm not much of a doubter when it comes to the Lord speaking plainly, but i figured He should know straight up how uncertain i was with this idea. but He said, "trust me."
"trust me." sounds so simple. such an easy concept to picture, but putting it into action? a whole different story. but looking back, i cannot imagine life if i had not been to camp. i would not have met some of the most incredible people i will ever encounter if i had let fear have its hold. i would not have experienced Christian community like the bride of Christ if i had allowed past experiences to drive me away. i would have never seen beautiful, amazing children like Maggie, the Cutler twins, and Bob come to Christ if i had let resentment keep me back like a prisoner. this whole trust issue is hard, especially in times when friends, friends of friends, high school classmates, and family members are dying in tragic ways for uncalled for reasons. trust is tough when you're not certain the God of love loves everyone the same. remember when i mentioned i often forget? its times like this that i forget to remember, to look back, to meditate on the blessings God has come through on, time and time again, and the unexplainable ways that He continues to work, renew, fix, and bless me...every day. i don't want to forget. sometimes i let doubt cloud my vision. im trying, truly i am, to remember. daily. moment by moment. to remember the God who is. God is, and all is well.
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