"When you find yourself comfortable, happy, and complacent, be ready. You have learned all you are meant to know, and you are ripe for the harvest. Relish in those last few moments, for soon you will find yourself uprooted and spreading your wings for new beginnings and lessons to be learned."
T - 5 days and counting until i am torn from the roots that i have so diligently tried to deepen here in the beautiful redwoods of nor-cal. oh, how this forest has challenged me, changed me, and even sometimes chastised me. let me just talk about redwoods for a sec. redwood trees are the superheroes of the forests -- the tallest, strongest, and most majestic. yet, these guys are lacking something that most trees have -- a tap root. a tap root is often what keeps a tree from falling over, because it is the one that grows the deepest into the earth and acts as a stake for the rest of the roots. the redwood, well, it makes due with its family members, intertwining root systems with neighboring trees (often their own offspring resting nearby). i have tried to make my own tap root, relying on my own abilities, strengths, and gifts, but time and time again the Lord has reminded me that i am not able to be my own tap root in this life. so, instead, like the redwoods, He has placed me within a wonderful group of people in who i am intertwined, with whom i am making memories, bringing healing to broken hearts, and overcoming hardships. but, these past few weeks as the date has loomed closer, i have found my heart stirring...becoming restless for the unknown, though i have so valiantly fought to keep my heart from wandering and my thoughts only on the here and now. the majority of my being begs to stay -- to keep the life i have built...to stay where it is familiar, welcome, and Godly. but there is this tiny seedling of wonder...and wander...as i face reality and this chance i fought so hard to have. i always thought i was meant to wander, to be a drifter all of my life... but with each step further from the known & steadfast, i am finding my heart is wavering, and uncertainty has crept in...
then there's this tree called the madrone. the madrone tree is probably one of the coolest trees i have ever seen. it is this beautiful, vibrant shade of green, with big, flat, rounded leaves and smooth bark that ranges from greenish yellow to copper brown. the bark is truly amazing -- it peels off to reveal a smooth surface that is surprisingly cool to the touch. nicknamed "the refrigerator tree", the tree retains water in between its bark and heartwood, in layers know as the xylem and phloem, rejuvenating the tree when it is in a drought, and is keeping the colors bright and full of life. the coolest thing about a madrone tree is that it is a phototrophic tree. phototrophic essentially means "sun-loving." it is mad about sun. you can walk through our woods and see evidence of a love for the sun, as there are madrone trees that are bent over one way, straightened, twisted, curved, wrapped around other trees, and sometimes, fallen, in order to catch just a bit more of the rays that it so longs to have.
as i sit with my face lifted towards the sun, i am reminded how this is to be the essence of my thoughts, words, and entire being: the Son is to be my one love, my tap root, my prize, and i am to be running towards Him with all that i have...and if that means twisting, curving, falling over, and growing in the most awkward of places, then so be it. like the madrone, i want to be so in love that i will do anything, go anywhere, and face the fear of "failure" in order to know Him more. like the redwoods, the Lord promises to keep me going, encouraged and knit together with a community that will keep me from falling, and will endure the hardships, good times, and questioning periods alongside me.
i'm trusting in His promises. and finally, His goodness. so therefore, i am ready to go, ready to grow, ready to be rooted into a new place, a new life, and a new mission.
"When i think of all this, i fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and hearth. i pray that from His glorious, unlimited resources He will empower you with inner strength through His spirit. Then Christ will make His home in your hearts as you trust Him. Your roots will grow down into God's love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep His love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes to God. Now all glory to God, who i sable, through His mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to Him int he church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! AMEN!" -- Ephesians 4:14-21
goodbye, california. till we meet again...
