facebook = suckbook.
[let's just be honest.]
now, im not dissin the good attributes of facebook...like the fact that its one of my major sources of communication, thanks to living in a magical forest with no cell phone service (and i like it that way!), and i can use it to get in touch with super cool par-tay people who live in places like...greece, australia, arizonia, north carolina, oh wait -- ohio...places like that. facebook is great to also see quick snapshots of people's lives and who they are becoming today. but wait, that's not always a good thing. nor is it always a good thing to my heart.
lately i have been really feeling lost. like i don't really belong in the world that i live in now...the one where i am done with college, i'm in the real world, i'm on my own, i'm paying bills, i'm 2500 miles from all i've ever known...and i'm doing this alone. not spiritually, but physically, yeah, i'm on my own. and i'm seeing via facebook over and over the life i would be living if i was back in school...if i was home with my family...if i was living in indiana or ohio...that sort of thing. seems strange though -- here i live in one of the most epic places in the USA, where people DREAM of being but never are...and yet i'm still unsatisfied. my heart is is discord over the fact that "i'm missing out on something better"...or is it?
back to suckbook...errr, facebook. looking at those photos of good friends, old school chums, family members, and strange random people i don't even know how i'm friends with...i also see much that does not resonate well within my soul. everytime i hop on facebook, i see something that really ticks me off. perhaps its someone posting drunken photos. or its someone claiming to be a Christian but is supporting atheistic beliefs and rituals. or heck, maybe its someone who is chosing to live a life outside of the that they were raised to live. this sounds so judgmental, and i'm sorry, but i'm sayin it anyways. it really ticks me off that these people, who i knew and grew up with, or call myself friends with, are heavily distoring the image of Christianity and who we are to be in Christ. am i just being too cynical, or is someone missing the point here? in my head i'm thinking, "don't call yourself a Christian if you're gonna screw over the name of Christ, and screw up any witness the rest of us might have!" but in my heart i'm hearing, "you're a sinner, Child. why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye when you have a log in your own?" if i'm going to be ticked off at this, and get angry and judge...its time that i start with myself. i've been missing that point so often lately.
i'm allowing facebook to overtake the true reality of what's really going on with people's lives. i'm only seeing glimpses, snapshots, but i'm not really getting the full picture. granted, stupid people put stupid pictures up on facebook (hello, if you're dumb enough to post stupid photos of yourself on public network, then don't get upset when you get busted for it! E.O.S. [end of story.] ) but for real, i'm only getting a small idea of whats going on in their lives and in a single moment, without truly understanding their hearts. i'm so tired of living in a "facebook" mindset -- where i'm constantly looking back at moments, or where i'm only seeing the small picture -- just a smidge of what's really happening. this is how i've been seeing God lately. i seem to only look at the small picture -- the moment glance, without taking the time to look beyond the small into the vast known of the Creator. or worse, i am looking back to the God of my past and am setting standards on Him based off of memories, past blessings, and past knowledge. i think the reason why i've been feeling so lost lately is because i am not simply missing out on life, but i'm missing out on the LIFE-GIVER! such a simple concept...yet it hit me like a ton of bricks last night. hello, christa! could it be any more obvious?
so, good-bye, facebook living. hello, life-living. forget looking at past moments of glory (or in so many of my cases, past moments of shame), i'm looking towards what's to come. i live in one of the most incredible places on earth -- its time i truly embrace it for what its worth. i'm living my story, not someone else's, or dreaming of someone else's life. nahhh. that's overrated. better yet, i'm leaning whole-heartedly on the God who is revealed to me daily. He's never-changing, and yet there's something each day that i realize or learn about Him, and its enough to keep me going...and never looking back. goodbye, missing out. hello, living YOU.
