there and back again: a wanderer's tale.

a good friend asked me when i was going to write a book.

i laughed.

and then became very serious.

because, the art of writing, at least for me, is a very serious business indeed.

if i could give up either books or all other sources of media (television, internet, music, etc), i would gladly toss ole B.A. & Murdock (my MAC & PC) to the curb and retire Stella for life (Stella is my iTouch). books are that important to me. even more so, it is what occurs within the pages of those books that truly ignites my passion. i think Jeb Dickerson understood what books can do for us when he said, "Writing is my time machine, takes me to the precise time and place I belong." Within musty borders of a binding lies lands unknown, travels yet taken, and loves yet lost and found. it is refuge and reward, triumph and toil paced between readings. writing is not just an art, but a revelation of the soul. E.B. White was right -- "Writing is both mask and unveiling."

i think that is why the idea of pursuing anything longer than a letter or an assignment for a class is a task truly daunting. to "write" something is beyond an outpouring of clever tales...it is part creativity, part reality, and mostly gumption for baring self and soul within phrases and paragraphs.

but.

if i was to write a book.

perhaps.

possibly, it may take a title similar to Bilbo's epic narrative of his journey through Middle Earth.

thought i do not live a life as adventurous as that hobbit, perhaps the words of Tolkien mirror the adventurers of my heart, or rather the ache that Bilbo feels after returning from that journey...as if the life he leads never truly satisfies what once was known, or what still awaits. i think i can understand his plight...and his amazement at feeling such a way.

another good friend once called me "wonderchild." i often ponder this, questioning if i truly live up to that name. yet, it stirs my heart as i mull over the idea of writing a book...and i think within the name, i find something to write. i have lived the life of a "wanderer" these past few years, searching for adventure, for love, for places unknown, and for lives i have yet to learn from...and a taste of wandering has only whetted my appetite for more. yet, more questioning has sparked inside my soul, and a yearning for something more concrete. it is in these questioning times that i have seen the peace of Christ transcend all opposition and cunning craft of the Enemy...and i find myself left in awe and wonder.

so perhaps... that title should be changed to "a wonderer's tale"...because it is in the wonder that i think i would have something worthy to write.

but until then, i believe Vladimir Nabakov said it best.

"The pages are still blank, but there is a miraculous feeling of the words being there, written in invisible ink and clamoring to become visible."