let's be spontaneous, shall we?

one cryptic message. one bewildered question. one frantic computer task & late night phone call. one hour later, i'm booked on a flight to HOME.

yep. just one little change and my whole world is thrown into a frenzy. i found out at 8:30 pm wednesday night that i had the next week and a half off of work. could i do it? would it be cheap enough? should i wake my parents up? all these thoughts running through my mind, but one spoke louder than the doubts -- why not?

so now, its 6:37 am, as i sit in the sacramento airport waiting for my flight to start to board. in my usual fashion, i almost boarded the plane for Phoenix instead of Las Vegas (Mark Lowrey, you got nothin on me!) i've been awake since 2:30 am, running on 3 hurried & excited hours of sleep, a medium sized java mach, and on pure adrenaline for going home. it'll be a long day, but it'll be an adventure! isn't that what life is all about?

as i sit here pondering, i am becoming more and more distracted by the happenings around me. a sweet little girl with her mother just walked by, and in her innocence of youth i hear her asking her mother questions, and listening in full confidence of her mother's ingenuity. she reminds me of happy times, where i was young, trusting, fully secure in the capable hands of my own parents. and in this instant, i stop and think about my Heavenly Father, the utmost and perfect parent i could ever have. and i am amazed, and also ashamed.

see, i see this trust of a little child as i sit here waiting to continue my already exciting adventure, and im realizing the subtle touch of the Father's hand on my heart, using this very moment to teach me more about Himself and the journey of life I am on. see, i have been waiting anxiously for months to hear back from grad school. i am in this proverbial "purgatory," waiting, waiting, waiting for whatever is going to happen next, and it's not looking promising. in january, i had my life all mapped out, even to the exact dates of when and where. and now, as time starts to crunch closer and closer, i'm fighting bosses, deadlines, questions, needs, bills and jobs just to simply stay afloat. this isn't quite the adventure i was expecting.

but life's adventures aren't always planned, don't always look good on paper, often don't follow the easiest route. especially on God's map. its often scattered-- missing pieces of the puzzles -- jumping in leaps of faith and to unexpected territories, and often, it's only the promise of all truth revealed in Heaven will we finally see & fill in the missing pieces. i have come so far in my 22 years of life (shoot, i'm 22! ahh! i feel so old!) -- "o ye of little faith!" He has done so much for me in my adventure already -- will He not moreso cover me in my times of unknown? seeing the little girl have so much security in her mother's loving hands...how much more do i have knowing that the Creator of the Universe is watching out for me?

sometimes, i get lost in my own sea of doubt. i allow the crushing blows of the world to drown out my tiny seed of faith. but, right now, in this moment, i'm reminded of the loving hand of my Creator, and well, i'm taking a deep breath, and im ready to plunge into this adventure set before me. even if grad school is a bust, i'm still in for a mighty good ride. even if i don't know what i'm going to do in a few weeks or, oh dear, a year, i know that wherever God takes me, it's going to be a fun ride.

"it is well with my soul."